For many of us, asking for help is it difficult concept. We may feel as if we are admitting a weakness that the
world would not have known about, had we not asked for help.
Ironically, it’s been my experience that people who are able to deliver well-positioned requests for help are
seen as very strong individuals. When they demonstrate the humility ( 谦卑)to ask for help, they carn the
respect of others.
People who receive a heartfelt request for help are usually honored by the request. In turn we are
strengthened by the very help that is provided.
One of my clients (we’ll call her Kira) recently made a shift in how she was interacting with her boss. When
asked to prepare presentations, she assumed that she was expected to go away, develop the content , deliver it at
the required meeting and then wait for feedback from her boss. Her boss was highly regarded for the impact of his
presentations, while Kira often felt that her presentations were lacking. When she took a hard look at how this
approach was working for her. Kira recognized that she had not yet made use of her boss’s support. She could
learn far more about creating attractive presentations by walking through a draft with her boss—focusing on the
content plus her delivery—and obtaining feedback earlier in the process rather than at the back end .So she made
the request for his support.
The outcome? Her boss was delighted to coach Kira and was enthusiastic about the opportunity to put into
use his own strength by teaching presentation skills more effectively to her. By taking the time to work together
on preparation for a number of Kira’s key presentations, she benefited from her boss’s thought process and was
able to distinguish the critical compoments to enhance her own presentations. Kira’s presentations now have
punch!
Some of us are uncomfortable asking for help because we believe that our request places burdens on the
other person. Ironically, we may be missing an opportunity to show others how we value and respect them. People
who know you and think well of you are often highly motivated to help. Furthermore, the more specific you can
be about what you need from them, the easier it is for them to assist you.
